Monday, March 23, 2009

iBrush Off

I hate people sometimes.
True Story.
It's the ungrateful ones that get on my nerves.
The ones who only look out for themselves.
The ones who don't care about anything.
They just live for a better cause.
Even if it means ignoring the faithful bystanders.
They won't say thanks.
They won't say please.
They just expect and seek more and more pleasure.
Egocentric minds are supposed to go away at a certain point.
I guess Piagets' cognitive analysis was wrong.
Some people never go beyond their own minds.
Some just always want to act reckless.
They want attention.
And of course they will never admit this.
W.E though,
people like me learn to ignore people like that,
brush them aside like unwanted residue,
and continue our lives.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

POST #50 - FOR P.I.C

This goes out to the new 19 year kid on the block JAM YOUNG! Congratulations man, another year taken and I know you won't stop here. You got me on this blogging thing and I already planned on saving this 50 for you. Lol by the way my message actually fit with the song! lol it was hot man good job. Iight soooo I was going to tell you, when you get all famous, don't forget about me. lol. And when you are on tour i better get that back stage pass lol, no joke. I'll fight someone for it. Well neways man I hope you have a great day, I'll give you a call (another one lol.) Anyways, we gotta get a soko you already know the deallll. And when you turn 21 we taking over the world. lol true story man. College won't separate us and after that nothing can. P.I.C for life kid, the brother i should've had but it's all good cuz I met you along the way. I probably would've regretted a lot of my hs experience if I didn't befriend you, and it was one of the best things I ever did. Keep doing what you do man, and dont let anything stop you..I know you're better than that anyone.

iight man have a good 1. Love you kid. PEACE
p.s. = did carrie say happy birthday you punk? lol i wasnt sure but it sure as hell sounded like her.



Saturday, March 21, 2009

Poetry Update III - 3.22.09

The silent whispers of the night,
Follow me all the home,
Haunting my moral standards,
Reminding me of horrid thoughts.
Awakening the challenge of life,
To face who I have become,
To comprehend my own actions,
And accept that I am the only one.
No sleep for my eyes tonight,
I reside in eternal insomnia,
To be able to hear the walls speak,
So that in the end my ears bleed.
The fog climbs through the window,
Preparing to consume my mind,
To patronize my heart,
And leave me echoing more painful thoughts.
I scream for morning to come,
The sun becoming my savior,
Chasing away these images,
Hiding them in darkness.
The night has stood up against me,
Making sure I always fall victim,
To collapse within my own visions,
To become fragile and exposed.
And there is no defense for things you can't see,
Just more screams for evening to leave.


Poetry Update II - 3.22.09

She appears before me once more,
The coldest figure of my thoughts,
The type to always turn their back,
To leave you alone without sanity.

Through my lens she is different,
The type you always wanted,
Her true self nowhere to be seen,
Her smile bringing out the beauty she cannot keep.
She lives in a split universe,
Once consumed by her wretched personality,
The other a sacrifice to ART,
To become a portrait of falsehood.

Her motives are unknown,
I don't understand her presence,
She shifts into different forms,
And never allows for permanent change.

When the lens comes down she is a dead stare,
Lights up a cigarette,
Intertwines with the ashes,
Becoming the smoke she exhales.
Vanishing from existence.


Poetry Update - 3.22.09

No final sentence without a beginning,
Each word expressed has its own meaning,
To write is to spill out entangled thoughts,
To unlock imagination itself,
Because not everyone is free,
Most are prisoners of fate,
Chained to containment.

My mind has been concealed,
Bound by the structure of chaos,
Following the rules of the shadows,
A life of dark-faded figures.
Shattered portraits of hope,
A world devoted to seeking something else,
To obtain a better phase,
To become someone more.

This moment begins my transmutation,
My genetic code changing within,
Shedding the dark shadows of my mind,
Becoming free of this weight.
Replacing the broken frames,
Giving hope a settled place,
Becoming the someone I can be,
Becoming the real me.
This is the beginning.


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Motive for Action

[Intro.] In my lifetime four people have given me the motivation to take my art and strive for more. It might have been a mix of the comments, or the continuous compliments that made me feel that much better about myself. Regardless of the reason I have become thankful for having these people in my life. I wouldn't imagine myself a washed up artist who lost his talent, instead I am prospering in my time and actually moving forward. Recently, I added a fifth person to the original list. The fantastic four were Jonathan Martinez, Tiffany Chung, Esther Yang, and Michelle Rosado. Number five is Audrey Ong.

[Stop.Explain.] The reasons for this admission to these few people is because I never really took into account how she viewed my art. Today she text me saying she was the art editor of her magazines class and she wants to use me for an interview/article. It's impressive what kind of fashion junkey (good way) this girl has become. I remember her fashion club was pretty cool even though I didnt attend all sessions. Anyways I always considered Audrey to be on the top of the artist chain. She is just determined to come face to face with the goddess of art and just take her throne. Seriously. Well anyway, I feel somewhat honored that she wants to use me for her magazine. I get to submit artwork, photography, an interview, and some poetry. Tuesday I'm meeting her at the 5 points building to take some profile pics next to grafitti. I'm looking forward to it. So, I thank you Audrey, 1. For noticing my own personal artistic abilities, and 2. Because you've motivated me to push my art even further.

[Resident Evil 5.] Hottest game I've played in a really long time. I beat it on all 4 difficulty levels and I got all the weapons. I pretty much beasted on the game, still not done though. Everyone in the world needs to play this game, seriously.

[Weather.] Today, I almost wanted to cry because of how nice it was outside. Lol, like it was amazing. I took my jacket off outside! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WHAT FEELS LIKE YEARS! HOLLLLLAAAAAA!! Well yeah, I hope it keeps getting warmer and warmer.

[Conclusion.] I'm ready for some photo shop, free writing, and then sleep. PEACE. Thanks again to those five who keep my art going =D.


Saturday, March 14, 2009


[Intro.] I got resident evil 5 and that game is just the hottest game I have played in a long time. I haven't beat it yet but I am satisfied to the max with what it has offered so far. It has interactive environments, smart AI,fun bosses, amazing graphics, awesome cut scenes...need I say more?

[Currently.] At the doctors (eye) waiting for my appointment. I need a new prescription and I'm getting another pair of glasses, (old Julian?) Lol. I am in desperate need of some new contact. I'm sitting in a typical doctors office, waiting for my name to be called and watching what different people do while they wait. My primary focus is on this young brother and sister who keep reminding me of my sister and I. They are about 4-5 and are talking about the "proper way to fight." Lol. They look like they are having fun, which is the least I can say for the dude sleeping next to me. Lol

[Catherine Medina.] I saw her yesterday, lol random? She works at gamestop now! That's pretty funny. Now I have 4 friends who work at gamestop. Definitely getting HOOK-UPS. I love you cathy =).

[D-reyes] Hooked me up again yesterday with a game. Thanks man, appreciate the good samaritan act =D.

[Females.] There is a girl who I keep making eye contact with who looks like she should get outta the doctors office and just join a modeling agency. Lol. Seriously, she is beautiful. Maybe if I wait long enough ill go over there and give her a personal photo shoot.

[Some Time Later...] I got out of the doctors. Ordered new contacts and new glasses lol. I'm saved! Going to go eat some really good food, go home, play resident evil 5, and then pass out. =) latazzz


Thursday, March 12, 2009


[Poetry Update]
Would you allow it? -
The realization of your darkest desires,
Your thirst for more control,
The corruption of your inner child.
Could you sacrifice selfishness,
Or become a victim of its meaning,
Spreading poisonous kisses of intimacy,
Becoming crazed in this very feeling.
Only the evil can fulfill such actions,
Wearing prideful faces in the process,
Allowing the infultration of chaotic diseases,
And not having any doubts of such images.


[Tonight.] Resident Evil 5 comes out today. I'm not going to lie I'm really hyped about it. I'm going to go pick up my copy later and tonight me and my boy John are going to play the whole thing online. It's going to be sickkkkkkkkk. True Story.

[Exams.] Both my exams went well. No complaints. I'm really exhausted though. I was up till 5:30 studying, then slept for about an hour. I don't know how I managed to stay awake but I'm ready for a good nights rest.

[Conclusion.] Everything is just right. My book is making progress, I have 13 poems and 1 short story so far. I'm working on it everyday now. It's helping me express myself and also helping me realize things I never thought about before.


Wednesday, March 11, 2009


[Intro.] So a few entries ago I stated that I would possibly create a book. I would like you to know that I have in fact started on the creation of this book. It will consist of new and old poetry, a short story, and possibly photography and art from my personal creativity. =D. My friend Michelle said I should definitely do it and she even said she'd buy it so I got one customer so far =). I'm not going to be posting these new poems up because that would defeat the purpose of creating the book -_-, however I will throw in some sneak peeks here and there because I can write all day.

[Exams.] I have two exams tomorrow, one for Political Science, the other for Psychology. I'm not worried about psychology, however, Political Science is going to keep me up all night. I got my red bull in one hand and my textbook in the other. Gotta stay up all night to study for this one. My professor said we can drop one test exam but I figured pass this one with flying colors and then not worry about the next one. Hopefully I get this down packed, I've been told by my past teachers (Gildea, Henderson, Blickstein...etc) that I just have raw talent and studying is a joke. Lol I guess thats a good thing? I recently found out that even though my mom is smart, it was my biological father who was the nerd in school. lol..i guess he left me something useful =). I'm starting to think of another career for my future. I really want to be a guidance counselor. I will probably do that, but now I'm starting to become interested in teaching English. I just want my own classroom and students, to listen to the bright minds of our time express their writing. Maybe I can teach a creative writing class, that would definitely be awesome. Personally I was hoping to create a whole new course. It could be an english elective. It will mix psychology and english. Most high school kids have problems, we all do. So this english class will be personal and it will be a free write of daily emotions. Kind of like the class in Freedom Writers. I would definitely teach this kind of class for the rest of my life.

[Weather.] It is getting gorgeous outside, regardless of the rain. I am loving it like the cheesy McDonald's commercials =D.

[Females.] The most confusing bunch of organisms on this planet. Lol, gotta love em though. I think I got the cold shoulder? lol it's that curse that has always been with me. But hey, a random girl told me I was cute today so it's not like I'm completely mad at myself. Also, I know I'm not the only one but isn't it funny when you get those girls on the bus who whisper about you and make it obvious and then when they get off (which is usually always first) they wave from the window. LOL. Those girls make me laugh, mainly because 1. They are usually underage and just living life and 2. They aren't afraid to do anything. It's just funny.

[Different.] So this new blogging form that I have created is pretty cool huh? lol it's "different." I'm sure some time in the future people will do this, it keeps things organized and by doing this you can keep track of the changing of the subjects. I think it's pretty smart if you ask me. I stole it from Shakespeare, the way he would describe the changing of the scene or the entrance of the characters would always be accompanied by [****]. Love it. Inspiration is key to originality*

[Conclusion.] I miss a lot of my high school friends. And I mean a lot. I also miss Carrie Huggins. Mainly because I have a lot on my mind and I feel like she would know what to say. She should definitely consider counseling, because I am still grateful for the things she has told me. So that's it, shout outs to Audrey for her wonderful Blog =D, to JAM for doing his thing and working hard, to Tiffany because I love her, to Michelle because I look up to her, to David Reyes because he has my RE5 HOLLA!, to John because it's been 9 years and he has remained a loyal friend, and to the class of 2008.

[P.S.] I need topics for my book, if anyone has any suggestions throw them at me and I'll write at the bottom of the poem whom I received the topic from =D.


Monday, March 9, 2009

Poetry Update - March

"I see you in my nightmares"
Lurking from the unknown,
Underneath the depths of darkness,
You've shamed the idea of love.
You slip by like the rain outside these walls,
Blood red and spilling on the floors,
My ears can't stand these sounds.
The drops from the ceiling becoming my enemy,
Tormenting me with the reality of this night,
Of how I can't sleep those eight hours,
How my life must revolve around this,
Of the thick hatred evolving on my lungs,
Battling with my own immunity,
Taking away my very defense for survival.
This is the burden sitting on my shoulders,
The heavy weight of pain breaking my knees,
Shattering my movement at every step,
Moving forward seems impossible.
The fuel that feeds my burning fire gone,
Just an empty canister of what is and what was.
I'm stuck in this twilight zone,
Raging a war of what is real and fake,
I can see the smiles of those outside,
How everyone is just happy and content.
Behind these painted masks is truth,
Of how they are stuck in the same room as me,
With the pain surrounding each thought,
Every blink ending with a falling tear,
A smirk, a smile, a laugh lost in time,
This is another tragedy surfacing the earth.
This black room becomes another home,
The red splashes on the walls glow,
They become the nightlight of my life,
A constant reminder that I reside here,
A permanent resident of sleepless life,
So I no longer see anyone in a nightmare,
Rather they will be splattered on these walls,
Another reminder for myself,
So I'll never forget the real vs. fake.


[Motive - Rainy day]

Thursday, March 5, 2009

March Entry

It's about time right? lol well I'm back on the blog boat and I have much to say, or maybe too little to say? We shall see. First of all lets give it up for Quest Crew for winning season 3 of ABDC. I'm good at picking out these crews, every crew I voted for so far has won ABDC. lol HOLLA!'s exciting..I may just have to retire my jabbawockee mask and start doing some crazy flips like Quest. They did a good job, definitely shocked me with what they can do.

[School.] My school went on a walkout today. That's basically getting up outta class, walking outside and protesting. The protest was about our tuition next year. It's going up by $600 and everyone is pissed off. Hell, I'm pissed off too, but I didn't participate. I just took pictures of these kids who actually care about their education. It was amazing to see how many people were there, it kind of made me feel like some MLK protest about segregation. This was on a much smaller scale, however, it still had people fighting for what they believe in.

[Development.] I'm starting to master the things I have the biggest interest in. Photography for instance. I am starting to get better at it and I'm almost ready to start printing and selling them. I'm nervous about what some of these gallery owners will say but at the same time I'm kind of excited because I just have faith in my own work. My art has picked up as well. I thought I lost it but recently I started doodling and I actually got better. So now I'm mixing both art and photography and I am trying to get as creative as possible. I'm planning on creating a book. The book will have photography, art, and poetry. It's going to take some time but I think the finished product will be worth it. I'm starting on it soon.

[Females.] Alright, so I've told you guys before that I like this girl. I still do, but now I'm being a little more patient with how I'm approaching it. We shall see how this goes but right now I know as much as you do about where I'm headed with this one. I kind of like how I don't know because I don't have to worry about it as much as if I did. Suspense is good sometimes.

[Jam Young.] Just a shout out to Jam Young. No particular reason. LOL that's just how we roll. I think we gonna have a combined blogging site soon. His rap videos, poetry etc mixed with my poetry and photography. Our own personal JAC-JAM fan site. Not bad right? We work hard for the things we do.

[TIFFANY CHUNG.] This is a shout out because I honestly think Tiffany is one of the greatest people I know. I say this because even with being in different schools I've still found ways to think about her even when I'm not trying. She is just that cool. =D

[Photo Shoots.] I Forgot to mention to my bloggers, if anyone is interested in obtaining a photo shoot don't be hesitant to ask =D. I'd be glad to take pictures of you no matter who you are. Just ask and I'll set up a date.

[Conclusion.] Okay that's about it for this entry. I tried to keep it quick and to the point with some information. The other stuff isn't really important. Ummmm to wrap it up, I'm doing good, healthy, happy, and really yearning for the summer =D. LATAZ.