Free Write

Where am I going? A question that ceases to escape from my thoughts. Like a note stapled to my vision to remind me in plain sight that I need to find an answer. The solution isnt so simple, for the equation of life's decisions create a world of complex routes. I stand in front of a road that never has a straight path. It has no stop signs or street lights. It's an endless twist of turns and dead ends. I find myself walking with confusion, my mind creating doubt and worshiping hope. Hope for what? Is it really so difficult to find yourself in life? I found that answer to be yes. Along my path there are no mirrors, there's no time to stop and ponder over my actions. Each second I waste is another second I'll never possess. Time goes too quickly to worry about what is the "best choice." My decisions are based on instinct, like the wild animals mankind has yet to create labels for. There are no guidelines for the future, no exclusion from any choice you desire. The fact that remains is there are no helping hands when it comes to yourself. In my mind no one can show me the way, no one can light up the dark clouds that shatter my optimism.

The only thing we have as independent minds of this world, are our decisions and our path. In my sights I have a sign saying Where am I going?  In my mind I have the answer, "Wherever I want."

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

It's Over Now

Appropriate title for the ending of my freshmen year in college. I have to admit it was pretty fun. It was a lil more work than high school and I definitely spent more hours awake than asleep, however, it was fun nonetheless. I met plenty of people who I consider my friends now at school, which is different since I usually start making friends my softmore year in a new school. Like I've said in previous posts I haven't met anyone who I'm truly connecting with, HOWEVER, I may have recently found a pair of those! One of them is my new handball partner (gotta have one at any school) and the other is my newest friend, and one I consider to be closest to me in similarity. We made our schedules together lol, it was pretty funny considering we met like a week ago. That just shows you don't need to spend years with someone to be cool. That's how asians and spanish ppl roll!

So school is out. Now I work and sleep and work and sleep. Sounds good to me. Ill be spending some time at rfk to try and finish Huggins board and I'm confident that I will! And I'm already looking forward to my Fall semester =D. Farewell Hunter, hello Summer!

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Finish Line

So close, yet, so far. I can see it right there on my calendar but these days aren't flying like the other ones. I know I can do it, I just want it to be done already. I actually always loved school, but this year has been one of those years where I need a nice break. Not a 2 week vacation, I need a month at minimum. I'm ready to work all summer, and I'm definitely for my days off from school. Lol. Two essays and a math exam to go. All in one night. Tonight is a Red Bull/Monster night filled with procrastination, Facebook, AIM and basically staying away from the things I should be doing =D. Hahaha that's the CSTAR way.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Cellular Era

I love technology =D. So now I blog on my phone, twitter on my phone, upload photos on my phone, set up events on my phone, search the web, buy stuff, call people, basically do everything on my phone. Lol life is simple =). Too bad my phone can't take my exams but than again great news!: because I did so well on my other exams I don't have to take any of my finals because I get to drop my lowest grade =). Congrats to JUELZ!!!! Hahaha all I gotta do now is 2 essays and I'm done =). Bring on those summer nights. J.Cazares CstarExpress

My Love Life

As interesting as the details may be I found that certain songs explain it better than I do. For instance, Don't Wanna Be in Love by Good Charlotte. I could've written this song by how much I can relate to it. Than there's Said & Done by V8. Moving Mountains by Usher. Brand New - Drake. This list goes on and on and while I'm listening to these songs I couldn't help but to realize we relate to music almost everyday. I think that's why most of us listen to it. Dancers listen to them for the beats. People listen to them for some sort of comfort that others feel just as they do sometimes. It's some next level psychology treatment.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Shoot Me Down

I am at the mercy of Cupid. I actually want him to light me up after what happened to me Monday. Lol. It was perfect. Not too much, not too little. The exchange of innocent smiles, none of that doubt or negativity. It was the return of the smile that made it stick in my head. Makes me feel like I'm back in high school, only I'm in college so what does this mean? Who knows. All I know is when I go back and see her again I'm getting shot down. Call in backup, send support, and report a Black Hawk Down. =D

On a sidenote, Little Big Planet (Video game for the PS3) is my new addiction. VERY fun game. I gotta say thanks to David for what he did the other day. And it was crazy because we went to the movies, along with Cathy, and saw Wolverine. That movie was FIRE. lol FIRE. At some point during the previews, a bag full of Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers passed by and we all took one. I don't know who bought them but THANKS lol. Definitely felt like those RFK days. Slowly but surely I'm starting to have them again. =D

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Music Therapy

You come home from a hard day at work, a stressful day at school, or even a bad loss on a sports team. Not the most remarkable feelings in the world, but probably the most frequent of any. Different people deal with these situations differently. If you aren't a fan of music (which i believe would be highly unusually considering what era we live in) than this doesn't apply to you.
If you love music than you know the power it may possess if used properly. I've asked some people what they thought and for these people music either heals the soul, sparks creativity, or relaxes the mind. With answers like these I would assume they are in some psychological stage while listening to music. So I propose this cognitive approach for my psychology majors: Music Therapy. Simple, yet it has drastic results. I personally use music to motivate me in anything I'm about to do. If it's sports I play a little bit of rock to pump me up and I always finish off with Sweet Child O' Mine by Appetite for Destruction. If I want to relax and just sooth my mind I play bachata which is mainly Aventura songs and some Charlie Za. For studying I play instrumentals to slow r&b songs. I think songs that have lyrics become too distracting while studying because one second trying to remember the definition of a term and the next second I'm singing the damn song playing. It doesn't exactly help the situation, especially in my case since I'm easily distracted and I can't stay focused for a long period of time =). When i day dream I like listening to hip hop music. I do this because I envision how people would dance to this song and that usually gives me some good ideas.
Music Therapy may be better than popping pills. The next time you have one of those days put in a cd, turn on the ipod, or even turn on the music channel and try and give music a chance. I'd first suggest to write down when you use music and what music you listen to for each situation. This can help out so you dont have to press shuffle. Give it a try and let me know what happens.
On a side note, if you are a writter/blogger music is the primary motivation for any piece of work. 99% of songs are words, 1% instrumental. If you love writing than you love music so don't shut it down. Music is dying in the world! Revive it.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress