Thursday, February 26, 2009

Questions and Answers =D

Replace my answers with yours and send it back.


1. Who is the first person you think of when someone asks you who you like?

Lol do I have a lifeline for this question? =D

2. Do you drool/talk/etc. in your sleep?

I've been told that I move a lot lol

3. What word do you say the most when your mad?

Ugh!

4. Are you happy?

Yeah yo but things could always be better =D

5. Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hate?

Lol yeah..what an adventure that was

6. If you were born the opposite gender, what would your parents name you?

Juliana? lol

7. Are you tan?

I'm not dark but not white. lol

8. Hair color?

It depends on the season. lol..brown.

9. Who did you last go to the beach with?

ummmm..wow i dont remember. Maegan, Jacob, Frann?

10. Confused about anything?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. lol

11. Do you have any pets?

Yeah, a cat. Tarzan =D. all black. holla.

12. Do you want to get married?

Yessirrr =D

13. Do your initials spell anything?

J.A.C : motto - JAC of all Trades. lol get it? also J.A.C - just act crazy. =P

14. Last person you fought?

my sister. -_-

15. What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten?

THAT HOUR BREAK WE GOT TO SLEEP!!!!

16. How do you calm down when your extremely angry?

I walk, vent off, and then finish off with either throwing something or punching something.

17. Where do you want to go vacation-wise?

Italy, Puerto Rico, D.R., Bahamas, Australia...ANYWHERE! lol

18. What are your plans for tonight?

LOL try and sleep >.<

19. Do you prefer to call or text someone?

I like both. Texting is fun but sometimes I get impatient. lol

20. What are you listening to?

Party People - Nelly

21. Are you friends with any of your ex's

Yeah all of them. I try not to have any grudges you know? lol

23. Last movie you watched?

Tropic THunder


24. What are you doing today?

Working in a couple hours.

25. Are you excited for anything?

Yeah! To finish this damn survey haha

26. What are you doing currently?

I'm typing. lol...and the question should be what are you currently doing?

27. Have you ever been given roses?\

I actually got roses! lol..and then they died.

28. Do you have names picked out for your children?

Boy - Ezekiel knicknamed: "Zeek"
Girl - Hunter

29. How many times have you honestly fallen in love?

Once.

30. Have you ever had your heart broken?

5 times. lol yeah i keep count.

31. What's your favorite color?

Purple, Green, and Red.

31. Where do you shop the most?

h&M and Pac Sun.

32. Do you believe in love at first sight?

In movies. lol...other than that there is no such thing.

33. Would you take any of your exes back?

hahahaha..thats a funny one. no there is a reason they became an "ex."

34. At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?

i had my first crush in kindergarden =D.

35. Are you happy with your love situation?

Lol sike.

36. Do you know someone who likes you?

Yeah.

37. When did you last talk to an ex?

hmmm...abouttt...2 weeks ago.

38. Who is the last person you hugged?

MY CAT! like 2 seconds ago. lol

39. Do you cry over girls/boys?

dependsssss on the situation.

40. Describe yourself in one word?

Creative.

41.
[Chorus:]
Oh!
I'm into you,
And girl,
No one else would do,
'cause with every kiss and every hug,
You make me fall in love,
And now I know I can't be the only one,
I bet there heart's all over the world tonight,
With the love of their life who feels..
What I feel when I'm

With you [x5]
Girl..
With you [x5]

[Verse 2]
Oh girl!
I don't want nobody else,
Without you, there's no one left then,
You're like Jordans on Saturday,
I gotta have you and I cannot wait now,
Hey! Little shawty,
Say you care for me,
You know I care for you,
You know...that I'll be true,
You know that I won't lie,
You know that I would try,
To be your everything..yeah..

[Bridge:]
'cause if I got you,
I don't need money,
I don't need cars,
Girl, you're my all.


42. Do you still have something your ex gave you?

Yeah...the scar is still there...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Mariano For the Save

Iight sooooo I'm backkkkk!...took a lil break but Mariano is on the mound once again. And whoever is lost Mariano River is the closer for the Yankees, cmon guys get ya status up. Iight soooo I can't recap everything that's happened in writing so imma just keep this simple. I'm living a goooood life right now =D, pretty amazing actually. I have so much going on and yet I have control of it all, which is a first. I'm hyped for a lot of things and I no longer have a crappy feeling inside me anymore. LOL WOOO! Shout outs to my man Jonathan Martinez for his hot performance last Friday, he really did a great job. I dont care if he has haters cuz we all do, but that kid has talent and I never doubted that for a minute. I always heard ppl talking mad shizzle about him and this and that and I always said the same thing, "Dont judge. and dont talk bout him in front of me." It's true. I did. lol..and I still would if it happened again.

What else....I passed my first psych exam! lol holla! flying colors yo school is easyyyy. And yooo!! I went to the Bronx Community College campus yesterday to chill with my friend squishy lol..yeah its a knickname..haha well anyways that campus is HUGE! lol and it was cold >.<. But..i learned some math, had a lot of laughs, took some pics that she wont let me upload >.< cuz shes a bum, and I taught her how to flip a coin. LOL whooooooo doesnt know how to flip a coin? ahhaha hay dios mio.

I CANT WAIT FOR BASEBALL SEASON TO START!! LETS GO YANKEES!!! HOLLA.R.

Shout out to K-Cob for that scattegories game over the phone. Lmao i versed her and three of her friends on the phone and beat them all. HAhaaha im a G! lol

Shout out to my class of 08 friends who i saw last friday including my new jersey buddy lorri, who also blogs lol. Who actually came back to following my blog..lol -_-. LOSER. haha

Iiight soooo whats in store for the days to come : I have no idea, just go at it day by day. lol....and thats it!!! Living my life once again, taking flix, chilling and determined. lol thats my motto.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Monday, February 16, 2009

Poetry Update

Roller Coaster Syndrome

We all know that expression,
Everything happens for a reason,
Some people think its false,
But its something i believe in,
There are just things out of our control,
That eventually fall into place,
Somethings last forever,
And others need to erase.
There a few of us who must get hurt,
But its a price we must pay,
For we are helpless romantics,
Who cant find the right way.
From one love to the next,
We must figure out whats real,
Who will gain our love?
And who will seal the deal?
Our lives are infected with a curse,
To attract the bad ones first,
And when we think we found the one,
Events keep getting worse.
But its a necessity in life,
So we can learn from whom we choose,
So we can one day win the right one,
Instead of always lose.
We may get hurt from time to time,
But our scars will no doubt heal,
And we cast out those who inflicted us,
Because of how they made us feel.
How they lied to our faces,
And told us promises they couldnt keep,
How we would imagine that perfect union,
Only to drown in the pain that runs deep.
We hate those who cause this,
But are thankful in the end,
Because now we can eliminate these faces
And no longer live in pretend.

She didnt deserve this fate,
Yet it has now entered her veins,
The poison of a tragic game,
That can hurt someone is so many ways.
I have been there before,
And I know how it can be,
How I felt like such an idiot,
And the only one to blame was me,
But I wish it could've passed you,
Instead you are now a victim,
And I'm sorry it had to be this way,
Because you shouldn't have the roller coaster syndrome.
They surround us everyday,
Those fake people in disguise,
Who make us believe in anything,
Until the truth we realize.
They are not worth the thought,
The worthless enemies to our heart,
And it will one day come back around,
To make sure they are torn apart.
So they can know how it feels,
They will remember that cold night,
When the world they know freezes,
And everything they love is removed from sight.
They will know what its like,
They will feel the same pain,
And when they return once more,
All they will find is the cold icy rain.
The thunder clouds of change,
They will be all alone,
And they will cry themselves to sleep,
Until it infects them to the bone.

I know this ride will one day end,
And the last stop will be for you to decide,
Time will heal this injustice,
And these feelings will no longer collide.
You will smile for real,
And there will be no more ache,
Because this will make you stronger,
And a new start you shall make.
You are better than this curse,
And what a mistake he has made,
Because you are worth the challenges of love,
And he just let that fade.
Thats just one less person to remember,
And you will survive any kind of trial,
Because i believe you have a gift,
And that is the strength of your smile.

Count on me for help,
I will do whatever it is you ask,
And i wont make a promise i cant keep,
Because I'm not hiding behind a dishonest mask.
This is only a phase,
And I know you will get through,
Because everything happens for a reason,
And i know this to be true...

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Patience

I have this anger toward guys who take the good girls for granted. Like what the hell do they not understand that if you have a girl who is just perfect why the hell would you be so selfish and let that go? I can never understand this dilemma. Like it makes us look bad. I've helped a lot of people go through this problem but never have I actually felt the urge to walk up to a stranger, someone i didnt even know, and just punch them straight in the face for being stupid. I guess its because i like her that i feel this way..or maybe its just Im so sick of these idiots that surround us. All i know is that these things happen every day and Im tired of seeing the sweet girls in pain, ESPECIALLY girls like her. I may not have known her for long but if I feel this way so early its for a reason. Like i really want to just hurt the kid who did this to her. She really doesnt show it but I know shes hurt. I want to hug her and tell her everythings okay but I just cant do that yet. Right now what matters most to me is that shes happy and she doesnt have that dumbass in her mind. I'm not gonna stoop down his level and say something to his pathetic self, thats just not my style, however, i swear to anything I love if i find out he does something to her to make her feel worse I will not waste another second. I'm sure every guy will back me up when I say no girl should ever be hurt, and when they are it's our job to be there for them. I've always been that person to help people, and I'm not gonna let her down. Right now I'll be whatever she wants, patience is everything for me..it always has been.

If you do read this than I want you to know that you are better than him in every way and if he made you feel anything less then he's not worth the thought. I'm sorry things went the way they did but in time everything will be better. Your a movie girl remember...the one that every see's who played that role in the movie and find your name. I don't want to see you crushed. Maybe one day I'll change this roller coaster lifestyle...cure that syndrome we were cursed with...

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Saturday, February 14, 2009

First Impression

It was just like I imagined. She was just how I imagined. It's amazing how your mind can put together every aspect of someone and you don't even have to know that much about them. Today I saw her, but it was as if I've seen her my whole life. That girl who I saw from across the lunchroom, or that girl who I would see pass by, even that girl in my favorite movie. I could go on and on about how I couldn't find an imperfection, how this type of girl is truly hard to find. Girls like her are either taken, or single and taken. Guys like me never get that kind of luck, however, maybe..just maybe this time is different. To say the least, it was a good first impression, I just hope it was the same on my behalf. I don't want to push it, but if I look into her eyes I may just go beyond any force.


J.Cazares
*CstarExpress*

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Slackerific

Good term for me on this blog. Lol okay so heres the deal, I havent been blogging so much because Ive been EXTREMELY BUSY! I didnt really think people would wanna have their pictures taken by me and it seems like that list keeps getting bigger and bigger which is making me happier and happier and Im just happy all the time with this hyperific feeling of ADRENALINE! WOOOO!! ALSO! I think I'm starting to like a certain someone but I won't say who because if she reads this blog my cover is blown lol..gotta wait for the right time =D...I doubt it will go anywhere but hey..its always fun to hope! So thats it..ive been working, going to school, and taking pictures. The cstar life. The one I've always wanted. Next thing to do...

...tell her how I feel. lol (Dramatic music plays in the background) STILL HYPPPERRRRRR

Saturday, February 7, 2009

GAME TIME!

ALRIGHT SO I AM OFFICIALLY THE HAPPIEST KID ON THE PLANET! I decided hey, lemme do something for me for a change. So I went out and bought myself the Canon Rebel XSI 12.2 Megapixel camera which priced in at $758.11. Ridiculous I know, it hurt me more than it did you HOWEVER I will not complain because now I can be adventurous with my photography. I'm really excited to try it out =D like crazy excited. Canon has this motto :"Let the world become your playground." How fly is that? LOL that's my life right now. Lets go.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Poetry Update - Written Form

Living in the Pages

I got lost in a dream that was real,
A surreal vision I could feel,
Abruptly taken from me,
Like a child awakened from sleep-
Scared and Confused,
With wandering eyes trying to comprehend,
Screaming for an answer
Becoming a message I can't send.
Things don't make sense, they never do.
When will they ever go the way that we want them to?

I was in control of the routines in my day,
But chaos intervened and got in my way,
Targeting me for reasons I cannot recall,
I guess I wasn't meant to have it all.
For life can't be kind to kind eyes,
And happiness is just a misleading title,
So I lay here with wandering eyes,
Trying to get through this dark trial.

Trying to connect the missing pieces,
The puzzle of my life remaining unfinished,
This jigsaw world becoming my home,
Causing everything I knew to be diminished.
There's no exit for those who wish to leave,
Bound in this empty room with no oxygen to breathe.

I yearn to break free from this,
Like a fairytale awakening- with a kiss.
But fantasy and life can't be intertwined,
It's meant for the stories read at bedtime.
Those stories that are lies to out minds,
To give us the hope that there's a better side.
So when you fall hard you feel "invincible"
Till it's torn away leaving you "invisible.

That was a long time ago,
Yet I'm still behind closed doors,
Reading chapters of a world I adore,
And how I want to go back once more.
Every book has their final chapter,
And they all end with a happily ever after.
I lay down every night,
Waiting for a new dream to take me away,
For that one girl to awaken my life,
And finish my puzzle the right way.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Poetry Update - Video Link

Click the link below to watch

http://s93.photobucket.com/albums/l58/nyallstar2251/?action=view¤t=CIMG1504.flv

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Glass Half Full

Recently, I've found it harder and harder to sleep but easier to smile. I guess good things dont come so easy, but now I realize that they DO happen. I'm not 100% but then again no one ever is. Last night was a fun night for me. If I calculated correctly I spoke to this girl Jennifer for about 5 hours pretty much about random facts and lots of laughs. I needed that. Haven't had one of those convo's in a long time and it made me realize just how easy laughter can overcome pain.

It's snowing outside. I created a creative technique for when it snows, try this. When you are walking concentrate on the snow so that you can create images in the falling pieces. It's just like looking at clouds but it takes a lot more creativity to make an image before the snow hits the ground. Sooner or later the world will appear as falling snow, no people, no streets and no buildings. Its actually amazing, Im trying to take a picture of what this actually looks like but its not so easy to take pictures with your imagination (new quote?) Well anyway shout out to Tiffany for showing me love this entire week and the previous years as well =D. You're becoming my right hand girl.

P.S. The title of this blog is emphasizing how I'm looking at things in a new perspective. Makes sense now doesnt it? =D

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Phota-holic Era

I'm happy to see thanks to my closest friends that I'm feeling much better, despite the growing problems I've decided its better to live with them now then regret it later. So the title of this blog basically is stating my new line of work, photography. I never thought photography would motivate me so much, hell I never thought I was good at it. Apparently people like my photos, and I want to properly say thank you to everyone who has made a comment about my pictures because it is that reason alone that I am pursuing work in photography. I have scheduled 3 photoshoots so far and I'm speaking with a couple people to help me "expand my horizon." My current job actually taught me a lot about printing and setting photos up so now I'm looking for a place to set up my photos and sell them. The greatest thing so far about this is the reactions I'm getting from people, actually strangers. I love people who love art, and when that art is mine I'm living in a dream world.

Truly feeling like myself again, maybe even more. Ill never forget those people who helped me realize what I can and can't do, because without criticism we all wouldn't know where we fit in. Thanks again.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress