Poetry Update (Welcome Back)

This much I know, the truth behind the deleted scenes, the rhymes mixed with the bleeding dreams, I can hear them screaming of this mess, I can see them failing on this test. Chaos has embarked within our minds, lifting off into desire, haunting our streets of life, depriving us of what we admire. Where did we make the wrong turn? Who lit the match to make us all burn? This overgrowing flame deep within our spine, this overbearing pain scarring a new design. The silent whispers have increased, the ones we looked up to are now deceased, fallen kings on every channel, memorials taken place, surrounded by candles, the world has dressed in black, the future has decided to take a trip back, to when things were harder and we had to find our way, if only we listened to what the world had to say.

-Julian Cazares

Free Write

Where am I going? A question that ceases to escape from my thoughts. Like a note stapled to my vision to remind me in plain sight that I need to find an answer. The solution isnt so simple, for the equation of life's decisions create a world of complex routes. I stand in front of a road that never has a straight path. It has no stop signs or street lights. It's an endless twist of turns and dead ends. I find myself walking with confusion, my mind creating doubt and worshiping hope. Hope for what? Is it really so difficult to find yourself in life? I found that answer to be yes. Along my path there are no mirrors, there's no time to stop and ponder over my actions. Each second I waste is another second I'll never possess. Time goes too quickly to worry about what is the "best choice." My decisions are based on instinct, like the wild animals mankind has yet to create labels for. There are no guidelines for the future, no exclusion from any choice you desire. The fact that remains is there are no helping hands when it comes to yourself. In my mind no one can show me the way, no one can light up the dark clouds that shatter my optimism.

The only thing we have as independent minds of this world, are our decisions and our path. In my sights I have a sign saying Where am I going?  In my mind I have the answer, "Wherever I want."

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

It's Over Now

Appropriate title for the ending of my freshmen year in college. I have to admit it was pretty fun. It was a lil more work than high school and I definitely spent more hours awake than asleep, however, it was fun nonetheless. I met plenty of people who I consider my friends now at school, which is different since I usually start making friends my softmore year in a new school. Like I've said in previous posts I haven't met anyone who I'm truly connecting with, HOWEVER, I may have recently found a pair of those! One of them is my new handball partner (gotta have one at any school) and the other is my newest friend, and one I consider to be closest to me in similarity. We made our schedules together lol, it was pretty funny considering we met like a week ago. That just shows you don't need to spend years with someone to be cool. That's how asians and spanish ppl roll!

So school is out. Now I work and sleep and work and sleep. Sounds good to me. Ill be spending some time at rfk to try and finish Huggins board and I'm confident that I will! And I'm already looking forward to my Fall semester =D. Farewell Hunter, hello Summer!

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Finish Line

So close, yet, so far. I can see it right there on my calendar but these days aren't flying like the other ones. I know I can do it, I just want it to be done already. I actually always loved school, but this year has been one of those years where I need a nice break. Not a 2 week vacation, I need a month at minimum. I'm ready to work all summer, and I'm definitely for my days off from school. Lol. Two essays and a math exam to go. All in one night. Tonight is a Red Bull/Monster night filled with procrastination, Facebook, AIM and basically staying away from the things I should be doing =D. Hahaha that's the CSTAR way.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Cellular Era

I love technology =D. So now I blog on my phone, twitter on my phone, upload photos on my phone, set up events on my phone, search the web, buy stuff, call people, basically do everything on my phone. Lol life is simple =). Too bad my phone can't take my exams but than again great news!: because I did so well on my other exams I don't have to take any of my finals because I get to drop my lowest grade =). Congrats to JUELZ!!!! Hahaha all I gotta do now is 2 essays and I'm done =). Bring on those summer nights. J.Cazares CstarExpress

My Love Life

As interesting as the details may be I found that certain songs explain it better than I do. For instance, Don't Wanna Be in Love by Good Charlotte. I could've written this song by how much I can relate to it. Than there's Said & Done by V8. Moving Mountains by Usher. Brand New - Drake. This list goes on and on and while I'm listening to these songs I couldn't help but to realize we relate to music almost everyday. I think that's why most of us listen to it. Dancers listen to them for the beats. People listen to them for some sort of comfort that others feel just as they do sometimes. It's some next level psychology treatment.

J.Cazares
CstarExpress

Shoot Me Down

I am at the mercy of Cupid. I actually want him to light me up after what happened to me Monday. Lol. It was perfect. Not too much, not too little. The exchange of innocent smiles, none of that doubt or negativity. It was the return of the smile that made it stick in my head. Makes me feel like I'm back in high school, only I'm in college so what does this mean? Who knows. All I know is when I go back and see her again I'm getting shot down. Call in backup, send support, and report a Black Hawk Down. =D

On a sidenote, Little Big Planet (Video game for the PS3) is my new addiction. VERY fun game. I gotta say thanks to David for what he did the other day. And it was crazy because we went to the movies, along with Cathy, and saw Wolverine. That movie was FIRE. lol FIRE. At some point during the previews, a bag full of Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers passed by and we all took one. I don't know who bought them but THANKS lol. Definitely felt like those RFK days. Slowly but surely I'm starting to have them again. =D

J.Cazares
CstarExpress